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The Handjob: The Most Controversial Sex Act Both Gay and Straight

one girl two guys hj

On the surface the Handjob seems completely innocuous. I mean, of all the sex acts that people can perform on each other the handjob wouldn’t be the first one I would think of when I was trying to determine which would be the most controversial. However, it only takes a little internet surfing and talking to friends to realize that the handy really gets people going – and not always in a good way!

I Can Do It Better Myself

It seems like one of the biggest reason certain guys don’t get excited about handjobs is because they feel that they can do it better themselves. They own the equipment, they touch it all the time, they know exactly how to make it feel best.

As one straight guy online wrote, “The truth is, we’re just really good at it all by ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, we love it when you touch us and we appreciate the thought but, beyond a little foreplay grabby-grab, leave the heavy lifting to the professionals.”

And if you are thinking that gay men would have an advantage in this realm because they also have a penis, think again. To quote a gay manblanche-bradburry-gives-a-hot-pov-handjob online, “Gay guys don’t have a huge advantage over women here either: while having a dick does give you some insight into what works and what doesn’t, every guy is different and what blows my load may not get my man off.”

However, this reasoning doesn’t work for every guy. Because as one straight dude wrote, “Any guy would much rather have a handjob from you than from himself. First of all, guys do it by themselves ALL the time, so having you do it makes it a special treat. Imagine running your fingers lightly over your own skin: it feels nice.  Now imagine someone you are attracted to doing it.  Much better, eh?” And following up on that thought, one married gay guy put it succinctly when he wrote that, “there is nothing better than having someone do your work for you.”

It’s All About Technique and Attitude

Continuing on from the idea that the handjob is looked down upon by many men because they can do it better themselves, well then the best way to change their minds would be to have people get better at giving them right? At least that is the goal of sex educator Carlyle Jansen – founder of the Toronto sex shop Good For Her – who also runs a workshop called “The Sophisticated Handjob.”

The goal of her workshop is to expand the repertoire of handy-givers everywhere. Maybe if the “bored dry hand pump” wasn’t the only move in your bag, the dude receiving the HJ would be more excited by it and it wouldn’t be the “only-if-we-can’t-do-anything-else-sexually” option in your bedroom.

Check out this article in which a female reporter interviewed Jansen and then tried out some of her newly learned techniques on her boyfriend. What did he think of the various handies. Would he want any of them again?

And remember guys and girls, that attitude also matters. You might have the technique down, but also try to look like you want to be doing it. As one guy said, “You know what I can do on my own? I can jerk myself off. No one wants a subpar, less enthused version of something they can do themselves. (And, let’s be honest, most handjobs are not backed by intense passion.)”

Watch Guys Doing It: IRL and Live on Cam

2 guy reach aroundAlong with all the advice I read online about how to give a better HJ (and there is way more of it out there than you would think), I think one of the best things to do is to watch the guy jerk off. Ladies and gentleman if you would just watch your dude stroke himself (probably best to masturbate at the same time so he doesn’t feel awkward) you would get a lot for really good tips and hints as to what works best for him in that department.

Another, option is to watch other guys spank their monkeys. See something they do then maybe try that on your man. And the best way to watch other men jerk off is via live cam sites. Sure, you can watch videos, but they aren’t interactive. And sure, you could go out and find another dude and go back to their place and watch them jerk off (but your partner might not be fond of that idea). So, the best of both those worlds are live, gay cam sites.

With live cam sites not only can you watch guys jerk off but you can also chat with them and tell them what you want to see – and if you wanted to you could also ask them if they have any special techniques you could try on the man, or men, in your life.

You also can have fun looking at all types of guys. As an example, I checked out Gay Cam Flirt and within my first few minutes there I had already laid eyes on a hairy-chested, guy-next-door type, a dark-skinned Latino hottie and in one room there were two muscular guys with rather large dicks. Two-dude rooms are fun because you can watch a handjob performed (among other things), but there is definitely a lot of good that can come (and cum) from solo rooms as well.

And there is a lot of good that can come/cum from handjobs. Handys don’t need to be the ugly stepchild of sexual activities anymore. Givers, just work on your technique and receivers, be open to them and who knows what can happen!

 

Did you know about the history/invention of the handjob?

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